Why did I choose to be transgender?
I hear this question from some people. It reflects a common misperception about what it means to be transgender, one that views being transgender as a choice a person makes. But we don't choose to be transgender. We are transgender. It's part of who we are, just like someone who is gay does not choose to be gay. They simple are.
I didn't choose this. It is who I am, just as I am 5 foot 8 inches tall. Choice becomes a question only in regards to whether one is aware of their identity and whether one chooses to accept it. One can also choose how to express that identity. But one does not choose to be or not be transgender.
Some people seem to fear accepting open expression of transgender identity as though doing so will cause others to become transgender (as if that would be a terrible thing in itself!) But it's not a disease and it's not something one "converts" to. Accepting transgender people as they are will not suddenly make a cisgender person transgender. It doesn't happen. But it does allow people who are transgender but haven't come to accept it realize that it's completely okay to be who they are. And that's a good thing, because hiding or suppressing who you are is very harmful to your well-being.
Accepting who we are as transgender people can take a lot of time though, because the societal and personal barriers against doing so are enormous. This reality also points to the absurdity of someone choosing to become transgender who is not. Doing so exposes you to rejection, violence, and discrimination, and who would choose that other than out of the necessity to embrace one's true self? But when as a transgender person you finally come to terms with who you are, accept it and begin to live it in whatever manner you find appropriate, it is extremely freeing and liberating, despite those enormous barriers society raises against you.
In future posts I will share more about the journey I took to reach the point of accepting who I am, embracing it and choosing to live in harmony with it. The choice was not whether to be transgender or not. The choice was whether to accept it and live as a whole person or not. A dear friend shared a song with me recently that captured well the feeling I have in finally embracing my identity. I took the name of my blog from this song. I'll insert the video here below and I hope that in listening to it you can comprehend something of the feeling I (and other) transgender people experience when we are finally able to stand in the light and be seen as we are.
I hear this question from some people. It reflects a common misperception about what it means to be transgender, one that views being transgender as a choice a person makes. But we don't choose to be transgender. We are transgender. It's part of who we are, just like someone who is gay does not choose to be gay. They simple are.
I didn't choose this. It is who I am, just as I am 5 foot 8 inches tall. Choice becomes a question only in regards to whether one is aware of their identity and whether one chooses to accept it. One can also choose how to express that identity. But one does not choose to be or not be transgender.
Some people seem to fear accepting open expression of transgender identity as though doing so will cause others to become transgender (as if that would be a terrible thing in itself!) But it's not a disease and it's not something one "converts" to. Accepting transgender people as they are will not suddenly make a cisgender person transgender. It doesn't happen. But it does allow people who are transgender but haven't come to accept it realize that it's completely okay to be who they are. And that's a good thing, because hiding or suppressing who you are is very harmful to your well-being.
Accepting who we are as transgender people can take a lot of time though, because the societal and personal barriers against doing so are enormous. This reality also points to the absurdity of someone choosing to become transgender who is not. Doing so exposes you to rejection, violence, and discrimination, and who would choose that other than out of the necessity to embrace one's true self? But when as a transgender person you finally come to terms with who you are, accept it and begin to live it in whatever manner you find appropriate, it is extremely freeing and liberating, despite those enormous barriers society raises against you.
In future posts I will share more about the journey I took to reach the point of accepting who I am, embracing it and choosing to live in harmony with it. The choice was not whether to be transgender or not. The choice was whether to accept it and live as a whole person or not. A dear friend shared a song with me recently that captured well the feeling I have in finally embracing my identity. I took the name of my blog from this song. I'll insert the video here below and I hope that in listening to it you can comprehend something of the feeling I (and other) transgender people experience when we are finally able to stand in the light and be seen as we are.
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