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Friday, August 26, 2016

Am I happy?

Fairly often people ask me "Are you happy?" The simple answer is yes. I have found myself. I feel whole and at harmony with myself. I'm no longer ashamed of myself. All of which makes me very happy.

But the question implies that there are only two states we can be in as humans: happy and unhappy. We are much more complex than that. So while I am happy on the whole, that happiness often mingles with a host of other emotions. Grief and sorrow are frequently among them. It is not an easy thing to make a decision to radically transform your life, especially in the middle of one's life journey. In fact, I experience emotion much more fully than I used to, the whole range of them. It's wonderful, and yet it's also really difficult at times. Would I rather go back to the emotionally-stunted person I was? Would that make me happier? Absolutely not.

Sarah McBride, a leader in the national movement for transgender equality, shared this talk at a TED event. She expresses it so succinctly:  "I didn't transition to be happy, I transitioned to be me."


She makes so many other valid points in this video. I hope you'll take the time the view the whole thing.

1 comment:

  1. Your story makes me think of another TED talk, the danger of the single story. While being trans-gender is part of your identity, it is not the whole picture (just as being non-trans-gender is just one facet of my identity). You're right: it's important to be oneself. Makes me think of one of my early posts which you can find here (http://www.stairwelltheology.com/if-i-were-a-buttterfly/). I’m sure you know the song. Which brings me back to the danger of the single story. The faith that you expressed when we worked together in Russia is part of you, and I really look forward to seeing how these two aspects of you commingle in the liminal stairwell which is you.

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