Our dance studio will lose its home in the coming months –
and I’m really glad. I’m glad, not because I want us to find a new home, which
will bring challenges and opportunities. I’m glad because we are losing our
space to something equally as wonderful as our studio. In the coming months the
Southern Arizona AIDS Foundation (SAAF) will be transforming our studio into a
new drop in center for LGBTQ youth. I cannot think of a better reason to lose
our space.
I’ve shared over the past few months how much my dance
studio has meant to me, particularly in the past year, and continuing to this
day. The owner and teachers and dancers have created a unique place where
people are safe to explore and develop and express themselves. This second
family has been a source of strength and support to me repeatedly. I have also
been fortunate to have the support of my parents and my children. The support I
have has sustained me through many a difficult time on my journey.
Unfortunately not everyone has such a support network. As an
adult with support it’s difficult. As an adult without support it’s very hard.
I cannot imagine how overwhelming it would be as a youth. I cannot imagine what
challenges you face when your parents don’t support you, when maybe they actively
reject you, perhaps even kicking you out. Where do you find that support when
your school may feel like a hostile environment, when your church is not a
sanctuary? We all need a place we feel safe and welcome, where we can form
relationships with people who accept and affirm us, who remind us of our value
and worth. We need a place we can go where we have the support we need to face
the challenges of life. As an LGBTQ youth such spaces can be difficult to find,
and in our current political climate they may become even harder to find.
For these reasons I am thrilled at the plans for this youth
center. I had the privilege to attend a gathering Friday evening to help raise
awareness and financial support, for such things do cost money. I may not have
abundant resources, but this center shall certainly receive what I can give. I
hope in the future that I might also be able to serve the youth in this center
in some manner with my time and energy, sharing from my experience and offering
an encouraging, supportive voice in a world that may feel quite hostile.
If you would like to learn more about this new center, or if
you would like to contribute whatever you are able to make it a reality, please
contact SAAF at www.saaf.org or (800)
771-9054. I cannot think of a time when a center like this is more necessary
and I look forward to seeing it open next year. The light will shine in the
darkness.
Dear Andrea,
ReplyDeleteHope you are doing well! I have long wondered whether to respond to your messages to the world or just leave it. We went through a couple of past years fairly closely together – remember the leadership trainings and coaching sessions we did? I have good memories of those times, have always appreciated you and your wife a lot. To be honest, it was quite a shock to me when you revealed your new/real identity, although it actually confirmed what you had already signaled before through your ‘sudden’ interest in ballet, women soccer, praise of other women, etc.
I have read most of your blogs and learned a lot about LGBTQ, understand a lot more. I want to commend you for your transparency, boldness and fighting spirit: it’s quite a journey you embarked on, but from what I read, you seem to have gained much happiness. That make me think a lot, and review my own thinking about God’s creation and who we are. I just couldn’t figure it out and match with my own experience. I have come to know the love and grace of God and of Jesus more and more as I grow older, and my experience is that the closer I live to him (wow, is that hard) and adhere to his thinking (also very hard), the more my identity as a person becomes clear and real to me, begins to shine, and that I have found really liberating. Through that I learned that my universe is not about me, but all revolves around him. That has not all that much to do with interpretation of the Bible or theology, in my opinion, but what I feel deep in my soul as truth.
Several times in past months I intended to ask you about your experience in your walk with God, since that was one topic that you -in all your openness- had not said much about. Now you just gave the answer in your latest blog, and it makes me really sad. If God is no longer relevant to your life, does that mean you never experienced God very deeply in the past, or maybe you got distracted by what Jesus followers make of it? It’s my prayer that one day you will seek and find your deepest fulfilment and satisfaction in the one who created you and loves you dearly.
Andrea, it is not my intention to hurt or shame you in any way - I just felt I needed to share what impact your past postings had on me. If you want to respond, publicly or privately, I would appreciate that – but don’t feel obliged.
Ko
Ko, thank you for your response. You and Basia always offered a model of compassion and grace and like many of my former colleagues you offer the best testimony for what life in Christ can be. I'm glad that you have found that love and grace to grow deeper as you grow older.
DeleteYou ask whether I ever experienced God deeply in the past. My answer would be that I thought I did though now I don't know if I ever truly did. I definitely rarely felt that God truly, deeply loved me for who I am, as I am and much of my life was lived trying to earn God's favor. I know that if God cannot love me for who I am, as I am, then that is a barrier I cannot overcome. As I reflected on my experience with God, combined with allowing myself to address issues of theology that had always left me unsettled but which I had tried to "believe" my way past, I found the whole edifice of faith crumbling around me. Can it be rebuilt? I don't know. Certainly the toxic environment of Christianity in America at present does not help, but the fact that there are many wonderful, loving Christians like you out there offer hope.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts openly and honestly. I appreciate your engagement with me.