Gender-blind?

I have had, over the past year, more than one person ask me why I make such a point of my gender identity. After all, since coming out, I’ve experienced acceptance from most people. So why make an issue of it, when they aren’t?

An article I read today, which you can find here, helped explain my answer. For a long time I would have described myself as “color-blind.” I liked to think that when I looked at people I didn’t see their skin color. I’ve come to recognize that that is not true. I do see it. What’s more, I see it through the specific lens of being a white person, with all that entails in American culture. I don’t have to pay attention to skin color because I happen to have the preferred color within my society, the one that has held power and influence throughout the history of my country. Of course I don’t have to think about it. But by saying I don’t see it in others, I invalidate the reality of their identity in their own skin. I’ve learned a lot in this area, but have so much more to learn.

When it comes to gender identity, the issue is the same, though here I find myself in the minority, marginalized group. My gender identity may not matter to you, but it’s central to who I am. You may believe that choosing to not see my gender-identity is a positive thing, but by doing so you invalidate me. If you don’t see me as a transgender woman, you don’t see me, because that’s who I am.

There are different opinions within the transgender community about whether the label transgender is useful. Some strive to leave it behind, to “pass” in society such that the label transgender doesn’t really describe them. That is their choice. To be honest, part of me would also be glad to cast off the transgender label, to just be accepted as a woman among other women. But, to modify the words of the author of the article referenced earlier, “To say that you don’t ‘see people as transgender’ is to deny us the struggle and the beauty of a significant part of our identity.” When people overlook my transgender identity, they miss all the beauty and complexity of what that means for me. They are less likely to recognize and acknowledge the very real challenges that face transgender people, challenges that they do not experience as cisgender individuals. Transgender women are women. Absolutely. But they have experiences that are unique to them as transgender women as well.

Therefore, I own the label transgender as a part of who I am. It does not define all of me, but it certainly forms a significant, core part of my identity. While it may seem like I make a big deal out of it, I simply want to openly acknowledge that aspect of myself so that others can do so as well and, having done so, begin to learn how that is different from their cisgender experience of the world.