Someone misgendered me today. It caught me totally off
guard, as this person has only ever known Andrea. Worse still, they did it during a
meeting. I don’t think it was
intentional, but it left me feeling extremely awkward and uncomfortable. They corrected themselves, but didn’t make any effort afterwards to apologize for the mistake. I want to let it go, but several hours later it still troubles me.
I cannot adequately describe for you how it leaves me feeling, unless you have
experienced something similar yourself. It’s like having someone say to you
that they really don’t see you as you are, but as they want to see you. You
feel like you don’t really exist.
UPDATE - 3/15/2017
I spoke with the individual today, and they acknowledged their error in misgendering me and their further failure to offer an apology. They recognized that I should not have to come asking for one. I hesitated to raise the issue, as I did not want to come across as overly sensitive, but some good allies reminded me that I need to speak up for myself. Thank you! I hope this will prove to be an isolated incident. If not, I'll deal with it accordingly when necessary. The wound is still there, but the rawness has been reduced. Speaking to and about people correctly and appropriate is such a small but significant aspect of affirming their value.
UPDATE - 3/15/2017
I spoke with the individual today, and they acknowledged their error in misgendering me and their further failure to offer an apology. They recognized that I should not have to come asking for one. I hesitated to raise the issue, as I did not want to come across as overly sensitive, but some good allies reminded me that I need to speak up for myself. Thank you! I hope this will prove to be an isolated incident. If not, I'll deal with it accordingly when necessary. The wound is still there, but the rawness has been reduced. Speaking to and about people correctly and appropriate is such a small but significant aspect of affirming their value.
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