I do want the world to see me

Several weeks ago I was driving across town with another transgender woman when the song “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls came on the radio. My companion shared that she loved the song, particularly because of the line:

“I don’t want the world to see me, cuz I don’t think that they’d understand.”

For her, this captured her experience as a transgender woman. She wanted to remain hidden, invisible, unnoticed, because she didn’t believe she could find acceptance and understanding. Unfortunately, I think this is the reality for too many in the transgender community. We live our lives in the shadows, fearing that being noticed will only make things worse for us. Society marginalizes us, and sometimes we participate in our own marginalization by seeking to remain hidden. It’s understandable, because no one wants to draw attention to themselves if they expect it to bring abuse, discrimination and rejection.

I cannot tell this woman, or any other transgender person, that they must come out into the light. That’s a personal decision that each of us has to make. Having made that decision for myself though, I want to use my position to advocate for myself and others in our community who are unable or not ready to speak up for themselves. I prefer the line that follows shortly after the one previously cited:

“I just want you to know who I am.”

I’ve found my voice. As you are aware if you know me or have followed this blog, I’m no longer hidden and do not want to be hidden. It’s not that I want or need to be the center of attention either. But I want my presence in the world to foster understanding, awareness and acceptance of transgender people. We are not the monsters that some, particularly opportunistic politicians paint us to be. We’re real people. We ask only for the same rights to participate in society as everyone has (or should have, since we recognize that too many groups are unable to live full and free lives in our culture).

I want to see a day when no transgender person feels she must say “I don’t want the world to see me, cuz I don’t think that they’d understand.” We’ve a long way to go, but I absolutely believe that this day will come.