Facing the Darkness

Twice this weekend I sat down to write about the dark cloud of racism and discrimination that is increasingly shadowing my country. Twice I could not bring myself to post what I had written, because the words were just too hard to share. The heaviness I felt in my spirit over the weekend could not be lifted by any of my usual practices of self-care.

The actions of the current administration and the words of the pseudo-president communicate loud and clear that justice for all is most certainly not the goal or concern of this government. They will support the forces of racism, exclusion and discrimination. The America they envision as great is a white, patriarchal, heteronormative state, run primarily by wealthy, powerful white men, and perhaps a smattering of others whom they deem worthy of including in their little club. Anyone outside of a narrowly defined “normal” has no place here. Our civil rights are not the concern of this unjust state.

How does someone like me, a member of a marginalized community that is currently the focus of numerous attacks, live in such an environment? This question has troubled me for days. Despair lurked at the edge of my mind. Is there a future for my country as a place where diversity is welcome, celebrated and recognized as a key source of our strength as a nation? Is there a future for me? I expect that I experience these threats more personally than some of my friends, because my community is one of those facing the brunt of the outpouring of hate that our illustrious “leader” is fostering. How can I not take it personally?

The darkness has lifted somewhat today. Not because the threat has passed. The threat is just as real as ever. The power elite in government and their supporters have not changed their tune or their behavior. I feel no more confident of my safety and well-being today than I did yesterday. But I hold on to hope, because I also remember that I am fortunate enough to live in a community that says “This is not our America. This is not the America we believe in or want. This is not an America we are willing to accept.” I think of my friends and the leaders I know in my community, and in my mind I see numerous faces of people who work every day in their jobs and in their personal lives to create a community in which all people can live safely regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation or gender identity. We’re not a perfect community but we, like many other communities around this country (I have to believe!) represent the future of America. The storm will likely get worse before it’s over, and in the moments when hope flickers, I will reach out to my friends and be reminded that I need not fear. There is light in the darkness. I am reminded of a verse from the Christian Bible: “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

To all my friends who stand for a community that is open, diverse, inclusive and just, who reassure me regularly of your support and care, thank you. Your light helps keep mine burning.