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Sunday, November 18, 2018

Strong Medicine


As I lay in bed this morning, letting the morning light filtering through my curtains slowly waken my senses to the new day, my mind reflected on the reasons I have to be grateful. Maybe the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday prompted some of these reflections, but I find it also emotionally therapeutic to stop regularly and remember all the reasons I have for gratitude. In this world, filled so often with negative news, with stress, and with the pressure to constantly feel like I’m not enough and my life is not enough, practicing gratitude is one of the most basic forms of self-care and at the same time a radical act of protest against the evils of this world.

I am grateful for the fresh scent of the incense burning in my room. I am grateful that I have a room, and a roof over my head, a place that is safe, secure, and comfortable (even if I’m out so much that I don’t spend that much time there!) I am grateful to my brother, who rents this place to me, who by his generosity gave me a place to land when my world disintegrated a couple years ago. I am grateful for my lavender and purple walls (if you know me, you won’t be the least surprised by that!) that create a soothing environment each day. I am grateful for the clothes I have to wear, and that I am able to wear the clothes I’ve always wanted to, clothes that make me feel beautiful. I am grateful for the comfortable bed I sleep in every night (thanks Magda!), and for the hours of rest I enjoy there.

I am grateful for my work. I am grateful to have a job where my work contributes to making the world a better place. That’s extremely important to me. I am grateful to work for an organization that has supported me through my personal journey since the day I walked in the door over two years ago. I am grateful that I work in an environment where we support one another. I am particularly grateful for the team of women I work with, for the energy we share, for our commitment to supporting each other and succeeding as a team. I am grateful for my supervisor, who has engaged with me to jointly create a positive dynamic between us. I appreciate that she empowers me and my teammates. I am grateful that I can get up each work day and be enthusiastic about going to work.

I am grateful for the opportunities I have to engage in transforming my community, working alongside some amazing people. I feel so fortunate to contribute my time and energy, not only at work but outside of it as well, to making the world, and my community in particular, a better, more inclusive and just place.

I am grateful for my health. I am grateful to live finally in a body I feel at home in, that in fact I really love for the first time in my life. I am grateful that I am able to engage in physical activities that I enjoy, like soccer and dance. I am grateful for my soccer teammates, a wonderful group of people who support and encourage each other each game regardless of the score. I am grateful for my dance studio, which has been one of my chosen families since I came out 3 years ago.

I am grateful for the warm, life-giving sunshine that fills most every day here in Southern Arizona. And I’m grateful for the occasional rains that refresh the land and my spirit as well. I am grateful for the window next to my workstation in our new office building that allows me to enjoy that warm sunshine and the beautiful sky.

When I think of the reasons I have to be grateful, more than any other I think of the friends who surround me. My mind often reflects on various friends, their faces bringing a smile of delight and filling my heart with joy. Not that long ago my friendship circle was nearly empty. Now it overflows with so many wonderful people. My gratitude knows no bounds when I think of all of you. You enrich my life. I am grateful for those who have laughed with me, cried with me, comforted me in grief, rejoiced with me, played with me, celebrated with me, encouraged and challenged and supported me more times than I can possibly recall. I am grateful as well for my family, for my parents and my children who have continued to stand with me through my transformation, knowing that it has impacted them as well. Words cannot begin to adequately express the profound depth of my gratitude to my friends and my family. I love you all so much.

Above all, I am grateful to be alive, to awaken each new day, to live and breathe, and to live fully and truly as myself in this world. I am grateful to live authentically and vulnerably. Life is a gift, one that I want to celebrate each and every day. And when the circumstances of a particular day draw me away from that, I want to recall these reasons I have to be grateful. Gratitude is such powerful medicine.

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